


all we have is each other

by Beb



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Illnesses, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Thor is Not Stupid (Marvel), Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), but really nothing too graphic!, it's mostly fluff and brotherly love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beb/pseuds/Beb
Summary: Five (bad) habits of Loki in which Thor found unbearable, and one (bad) habit of Thor in which Loki found unbearable.Took place in the Avengers compound after Endgame. Everybody lived.
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Wanda Maximoff
Comments: 5
Kudos: 98





	all we have is each other

I.

Thor seated on the couch, opposite from Loki. The spaces between them weren't so great that hadn't Loki been so occupied with his reading, he would have been able to catch Thor staring unhappily. And seriously, Thor didn't have any problem with Loki always having his nose in a book. It was Loki's unconsciously biting his nail that irritated Thor very, very much.

The habit was something Loki took with him from his childhood. Thor remembered, when they were both so little, seeing Frigga scold Loki for such a behavior, saying it wouldn't look good for a prince to be biting his own nail. Loki was stubborn. Ridiculously stubborn and had been that way ever since he was tiny. Sure, he may have listened to his mother back then, or every time he was scolded at by her, by reluctantly releasing his, at that time, little finger from his mouth, but it was only for the same behavior to keep occurring — so many times that it surprised Thor how Frigga never gave up on telling her youngest son to stop doing that.

Thor had thought Loki would eventually grow out of the habit. He was, well, wrong. If anything it got worse.

"Loki," Thor broke the silence at last, his voice low and with a hint of disapproval. Still, whatever annoyance or disapproval was in Thor's voice or on Thor's face, it wasn't enough to earn even a quick glance from Loki.

"Hmm," Loki responded absentmindedly in his throat, his eyes remained glued to his book, it moved slightly and slowing from left to right, indicating he was still reading and wouldn't stop to have a conversation with Thor anytime soon. His fingertip, unsurprisingly, still caged between his lips as he bit carelessly at his own nail.

Thor growled. Rolling his eyes, he got on his feet and crossed the spaces between them. He didn't offer any forewarning before he wrapped fingers around Loki's smaller wrist and, gently but firmly, freed Loki's nail from Loki's teeth.

It bled only a little, and it was what Thor expected. It doubled Thor's irritation nonetheless. "Loki," he said with a heavy sigh. "We've talked about this."

But Loki, perfectly followed the pattern, huffed in annoyance at his peaceful little me-time getting once again interrupted by his brother. "I'm reading," he muttered, trying to no avail to free his wrist from Thor's not-harsh-but-unyielding hold.

"You're bleeding." Thor corrected. And Loki had the nerve to roll his eyes, like he wasn't the one biting his own nail till it oozed blood.

He yelped, letting go of his book, but didn't protest too much, when Thor bodily moved him from the couch. Heading to the bathroom, he didn't ask what Thor was doing because, honestly, this had long become a pattern that happened quite frequently between the two of them. Tony saw. The rest, too. And they stopped asking because they knew what was going on and, even if they thought it was kinda childish and ridiculous at first, they genuinely started to think it was also cute.

Thor sat Loki on the edge of the bathtub. Loki, of course, stood back up defiantly, stubbornly. Thor made no comment about it (part of the pattern) as he, mumbling something grumpily under his breath, grabbed a pack of bandage above the sink, putting it where he could easily reach.

"Hand." He said, a command. Loki rolled his eyes behind him and hoped he would see it in the mirror in front of them. Though he complied wordlessly. Again, part of the pattern. Thor took his wrist with one hand, the other turned on the faucet. He held Loki's 'injured' finger under the tap as the water ran through it.

When Thor was satisfied he turned the faucet off, and dried Loki's hand — or to be more exact, finger — with a nearby towel. The bleeding stopped, but before Loki could say anything, the Iron Man bandage was already being wrapped nicely around his finger, around his nub little nail.

"Thor," Loki said, but didn't try to pull his finger free. "I'm not a child,"

"Yet you keep acting like one." Thor sounded angry.

Loki opened his mouth, but then decided it wasn't worth an argument, so he closed it and let Thor do the work.

__________

For the rest of the day Loki walked around the compound with the Iron Man bandage around the tip of his finger. Tony Stark thought Loki looked adorable, but he never told Thor's brother that.

~~~

II.

Being prone to illness wasn't something Thor could blame Loki for, and he knew that. As upsetting as it was for Thor to see Loki sick and bedridden, it wasn't Loki's complex Jotun anatomy that made Thor want to lecture him for an hour or so. If anything it was Loki's rudeness.

Sure, Loki could be charming. Extremely charming and polite when he wanted to be that it made Thor the loud and aggressive one in comparison. But that was mostly when Loki was trying to achieve something for his own personal gain. When he was grumpy because he was ordered to stay in bed for three days in a row though, he was, according to Tony, basically a mean Grinch. Whatever that meant.

A noise — shouting — from Loki's ward on Tony's medical floor, and Thor hated that he could almost predict the exact scene going on in his brother's medical quarters, in which Thor had only left for five minutes for a trip to the bathroom. The only thing left for Thor to guess was who the unlucky one, to step into Loki's childish little tantrum this time, was.  
(And if Thor had to be honest, each of the Avengers have had their fair share of that by now)

"What is going on?" Thor's voice was rather quiet and tired. He stood in the doorway. Apparently it was Lady Witch — Wanda was the name. So this time the unlucky one was her.

"Get out of my sight. Out!" Loki trashed in his bed, snarling like a feisty cat while Wanda tried to calm him down. Thor had just noticed a bowl of soup in her hand. She was doing her best.

"Lady Witch?" He interrupted apologetically, carefully approaching them.

"Thor," she turned to him. The look of uncertainty and 'thank God you're here' on her face. "I - I tried to... I brought broth, he wouldn't eat. He should eat something —"

"Do not speak about me over me like I'm not here, like I'm some kind of a pathetic —"

"Loki," Thor cut him off in a firm voice. Loki, not without a hiss, shut his mouth.

"He listens to you," Wanda said — whispered — clearly not meant for Loki to hear but, with them standing next to Loki's bed, Loki heard her anyway. "He won't listen to me," she added, still whispering.

Loki rolled his eyes, which was when Wanda turned her gaze back toward him. She no longer looked timid but more like a worried mother. When she next spoke her voice was louder, clearer, "You have a flu. The broth will help you recover faster. It will help." Norns, she sounded like Frigga. Everyone in the compound sounded like Frigga when he was ill. Loki screamed. Neither Thor nor Wanda flinched; after all, the Avengers were all used to Loki's tantrum when he was ill.

"I'm sorry," Thor mouthed the words to Wanda.

"It's okay, just... just make sure he eats?" She offered Thor the bowl in her hand. If Loki refused to take the broth from her, she was hoping he would accept it from his brother.

Thor nodded as he took the bowl from her hand. "I will," his voice was still apologetic. "Thank you, Lady Witch, for looking after my brother."

__________

"She was trying to help you. Why must you be so rude to her? To everyone." Thor lectured once they were alone. Loki was propped against the headboard, the bowl sat on his nightstand. It was empty now; after all, Loki did like broth, he just withheld that information from the team, only Thor knew.

"She keeps babysitting me. Everybody keeps babysitting me,"

"That's because you're a family and they - we - care about you!"

"But I don't need anyone babysitting me, Thor. I'm not a child." Loki said, still moody, but at least he wasn't throwing a temper tantrum anymore.

"Yet you keep acting like one." Thor still sounded pissed. Not outright angry, but pissed. He was always pissed.

Loki opened his mouth, but decided it wasn't worth an argument, so he closed it and let Thor tuck him in.

__________

Wanda received an apology note the next day. The 'sorry I was being mean' written on a Post-It glued to the door to her room. She smiled, and placed it on top of the pile of 'sorry I was being mean' Post-It notes she received from Loki during the last year, ever since he lived in the compound with them, to be precise.

Every Avenger had their pile of 'sorry I was being mean' Post-It notes from Loki. It was nothing new.

~~~

III.

Speaking of food, Loki hadn't had a problem with food... until he had, during his life of late. Thor wasn't going to stand by and do nothing about it.

"You didn't show up for breakfast," Thor deliberately let himself enter his brother's room. It startled Loki, just a little, but it startled him still. Loki quickly pulled a towel and wrapped it around his waist, having had just taken a shower, and now he felt the sudden need to protect his modesty.

"Damnit, Thor. Do you know how to knock —"

"You were also absent yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. And Steve informed me he didn't see you at dinner last night while I was in a virtual meeting with the Norwegian government regarding the well being of our people in New Asgard with Valkyrie as their newly crowded ruler there. You said you'd eat!"

"I just wasn't hungry. Why is it such a big deal?"

"It is a big deal because your starving yourself affects your health, Loki." There was an edge in Thor's voice, and Loki knew Thor was controlling his anger so he wouldn't start yelling. Thor had never been good at controlling his anger, but he was... trying.

"Thor," Loki sat on the edge of his bed. "I am not starving myself."

"You've lost some weight there," Thor crossed his arms over his chest, and Loki suddenly felt more exposed. He thought about summoning his clothes with his magic, but that would only prove Thor's point, so he simply held onto the towel around his middle, like that would help.

Thor sighed. He walked over to sit next to Loki. "What's bothering you, brother?" And it was the softness in Thor's voice — the gentleness — that made Loki want to curl up into a ball.

"Nothing," Loki said, looking at the hands on his own lap.

There was a brief pause of silence. Loki knew that silence, Thor was about to have the talk, whatever it was called. "You used to stop eating, when you were a child, every time something's bothering you, you stop eating. It was either mother or me who had to coax you into eating something. Norns, sometime we even had to bully you into eating,"

"But I'm not a child anymore," but by saying that with his voice so small and his almost-pleading eyes looking at Thor like this, Loki felt exactly like a child. The way Thor smiled softly at him proved just that.

There was another moment of silence before Loki opened his mouth, then he closed it, then opened it again a couple seconds later, his face a mask of defeat. When he spoke his voice was hardly audible, only loud enough for Thor to hear and understand, "I miss our home, Thor. I miss... I miss mother's garden, I miss Asgard's library. I miss... I miss your stupid friends. I don't like them... but I miss them. I miss mother. I even miss father's scold. I... I miss our old lives."

Thor's soft, understanding smile remained on his face. Though there was pain barely visible behind his eyes. "I know," he said, at last, and wished he could do more, there was nothing he could do to comfort his brother. Their old lives were gone, so was their home. "Me too,"

Thor cupped the side of Loki's neck. The old gesture of comfort. At least, he thought, at least I can still offer this comfort. It's still ours.

"Eat something," he added after a short while. It wasn't a command, wasn't a request. It was, in its own right, nearly a pleading. Loki closed his eyes and leaned into Thor's touch almost reflectively. He could never reject Thor, not when Thor was using that voice with him.

__________

Thor made him omelette. It wasn't that fancy and Thor knew he wasn't the best cook, but he did his best, he hoped it would be enough for Loki's appetite, if Loki still had any.

"That would be quite dramatic and unnecessary, don't you think?" Loki objected when Thor tried to spoon feed him. "I'm not a child, Thor."

"Yet you keep acting like one," Thor didn't sound pissed. Not anymore.

Loki opened his mouth, but decided it wasn't worth an argument, so he closed it and let Thor feed him.

__________

The next day, during breakfast, Thor sat next to Loki, with the rest of the Avengers. He felt something warm and nice bloom in his chest as he watched his brother lick his finger clean after having finished his toast with strawberry jam.

~~~

IV.

The air smelt like blood; metallic and coppery. It choked him, forcefully crawled its way down his lungs so violently that instead of actually being able to breathe, it left him with the feeling of being drowned. His insides burnt. His skin burnt. He was falling. Sinking deeper and deeper into the endless void that was swallowing him whole. There was a pair of piercing red eyes glowing in darkness up above. It looked down at him as he fell deeper, farther away from it. What was waiting for him underneath, in darkness still, was sharp claw ready to tear him apart. The laughing of Thanos echoing in his ears.

Loki woke with a scream loud enough it would have alerted the others next door into wakefulness, hadn't it been for the spell he cast around his room; it assured no sound could ever get out.

After all, the night terror was nothing new. He'd had that for as long as he could remember. And he managed to live with it this far, so there was no need for anyone — especially Thor — to know. It'd just upset them. Thus the silencing spell concealing the crying, the screaming. No one needed to know.

__________

It got worse, the nightmares. It left him shuddering on the floor, alone in the corner, with his head between his knees like a frightened dog with its tail between its legs. Weak. Pathetic. Go to Thor, the childish part of him said. Thor would make it all go away. Thor always did. He ended up staggering to the bathroom and retching into the toilet, flashbacks of nightmares — memories — flooding through his head making him heave harder, body trembling beyond control.

He didn't go back to bed afterward. No, the risk of having another bad dream wasn't at all worth it. He could endure sleep deprivation, he couldn't endure going back to the Sanctuary, to Thanos.

__________

Thor didn't think he would startle Loki. It wasn't his intention, but Loki flinched nonetheless when his brother's soft pat landed on his shoulder from behind.

"Pardon?" Loki blinked, like he'd just snapped himself out of whatever trance he was in. His face too pale for Thor's liking.  
(Thor had been calling him from the couch across the room. Loki's simply staring out the window like he wasn't really here encouraged Thor to get on his feet and walk over. Thor thought his brother was just lost in thoughts, he feared the matter might run deeper than that when he he saw the look on Loki's face, coupled with the dark circles under his eyes.)

"I was wondering if you'd be down for tonight's drink at Stark's bar with the rest of us... Doesn't matter, are you okay? You seem —"

"I'm fine," Loki cut him off, his smile didn't reach his eyes, and Thor's lack of response was more of him trying to guess what was wrong than him actually being convinced.

"You look tired," Thor said at last. "Have you been sleeping well?"

Something flashed across Loki's expression, too quickly to tell what it was, but Thor had a bad feeling about it. "I sleep just fine," Loki said, his sunken eyes disagreed. Thor looked, for a moment, like he wanted to push, but then thought better of it; nothing good came out of cornering Loki — Thor had witnessed it far too often. He sighed, still not liking the idea of Loki not telling what was wrong — because Thor was almost certain something was wrong — but there wasn't much he could really do, at least not now.

"You will tell me, if something's bothering you, right?"

But Loki wouldn't look at Thor. If anything his averting his eyes only confirmed Thor's suspicion.

"Right?" Thor added, a hint of warning in his voice he didn't mean for its presence, but it was there.

"Of course," Loki finally looked back at him. His smile still didn't reach his eyes.

__________

Thor had been watching. His attention no longer focused on the subject that was being discussed in the Avengers meeting but on his brother who, ever since Thor last saw him, somehow managed to look even paler, like a ghost. Has he been starving himself again? Thor thought, worries crept down his spine. No, that couldn't be, because Thor was always there making sure Loki ate. No, whatever the problem was, it wasn't Loki's eating disorder.

Steve called it a day and Thor didn't even noticed their weekly meeting was over until he saw Loki gather the reports in front of him into a neat pile with, much to Thor's dismay, shaking hands. Something was wrong. He saw Loki stumble the moment he got on his feet, and was about to call for him to sit back down when Loki's legs decided to randomly give out and he fell.

Thor didn't remember shouting, or rushing to Loki's side. People seemed to be shouting, too — they were distorted noises in Thor's head because Loki wouldn't wake up when Thor shook his shoulder, and Thor had no idea what was going on and fuck, he was losing his mind.

A hand on his shoulder, he never realized was there, yanked him to the side until he was looking directly at Tony. By the look of it, Tony had been trying to grab his attention. "Get him to the medical floor," Tony was saying.

"What?" Thor blinked, his mind still all over the place.

"I said get the baby bro to the damn medical floor."

__________

It turned out he fainted. At least he only just fainted from what appeared to be his not getting enough rest for too long his body decided to shut down on its own. Thor was... relieved, because it was nothing serious — Loki just needed to rest — but it was, at the same time, not something Thor could let it pass. Loki hadn't been sleeping. The Norns knew why, but he had harmed himself and Thor was about done with humoring Loki's pride, or whatever it was. He was getting the truth from Loki, one way or another.

Thor sat and waited, as immobile as a mountain, at Loki's bedside until the little shit woke up, and when he woke. Thor tried to cool down his anger. Don't kill him though, Tony had told him, but oh boy was he angry. His emotions flew from fear, when Loki fell and went still, to relief, when he learned Loki was going to be fine, then to frustration because Loki could've told him what was wrong, what bothered him so much that he just stopped sleeping. If he just... trusted him enough to talk, to reach out.

It started with a stir, a little twitch of the fingers then Loki began to moan softly, slowly coming to his senses. Thor waited for a few more seconds before he spoke in a low voice, "Loki,"

Loki groaned, blinked, looked around, and when his eyes found Thor it looked like he, for a moment, considered pretending to still be asleep which was... a bit too late.

"Ugh," Loki said, blinked again. The little shit knew what he did wrong. Good, at least he knew. "Well..."

"We've talked about this, you'd tell me, if something was bothering you," Thor got to the point, and though he wasn't yelling, his voice still too loud in Loki's ears.

"Nothing's bothering me," Loki said. "I just fainted. It's not a big deal —"

"How many nights have you gone without sleep?" Thor cut him off, it caught him off guard.

"Pardon?"

"You haven't been getting any sleep, have you? Of course, you haven't. Except just now because you literally passed out in the meeting room,"

"Come on, Thor —"

"You can't tell me you weren't struggling to stay awake, to just keep yourself functional these part days. I should've seen it. Norns, I should really have seen it," Thor murmured the last part mostly to himself. He looked tired.

Loki looked down like a kid getting scolded at for their misbehaving.

"And don't — don't tell me that it's nothing. Please, Loki, you can talk to me. I — I want to help,"

Loki opened his mouth, then closed it. He could lie, sure. He considered lying, but he was tired. He had wanted to reach out and seek Thor's comfort when the nightmares first struck, but he didn't want to upset or worry Thor. Thor was already upset and worried. In the end he upset and worried him just the same. Loki sighed, "nightmares," he said, then. His voice hardly above a soft whisper.

"What?"

"The nightmares," Loki looked up at Thor, and if his voice was still small it was more audibly this time. "I keep... having them. Every time I sleep, they won't go away, only getting worse. I saw..." Loki gulped, "Thanos, he..." he didn't finish the sentence, and Thor didn't ask him to.

"Oh, Loki," his brother said, his voice softened, more gentle. "You could've come to me, like when we were children,"

Loki smiled, but he still looked tired. He remembered sneaking into Thor's room after he had a bad dream. Thor wouldn't quite wake up, but he would scoot over, and when Loki climbed up on his bed Thor would wrap an arm around him. And just like that the nightmare was gone; when he went back to sleep he slept through the rest of the night undisturbed. It was like Thor drove all the bad things away. They were both so very young. It felt like a lifetime ago, like they were no longer those boys.

"I didn't want to be a... burden," he said it like he was confessing something shameful.

And Thor thought he might choke, "Burden? Loki, you're my brother. It's not... it's not a burden. We used to do it all the time when we were kids —"

"But we're not those kids anymore," Loki cut him off, something almost like pain woven in his voice.

There was a moment when Thor was silent. Loki thought that it was it, they'd drop it here, pretend nothing happened then he would go back to not sleeping again. But then Thor sighed and, despite Loki's protest, clumsily climbed up on the bed next to him until Loki had no choice but to scoot over.

"What are you doing?" There was this tiniest hint of panic on Loki's face, it was gone when Thor, as stubborn as he was, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gently but firmly pulled him to his chest.

"You need sleep," Thor said. "No, I won't hear any but, Loki. You will sleep and I will be here, today, tomorrow, every time you close your eyes, as long as you need. I'll be here chasing the nightmares away," Thor was acting like Loki was a weakling who couldn't even fight his own nightmares alone, the insult should be... unacceptable, but Loki needed it; Thor's comfort and Thor's protection. Thor's voice was soothing. And Thor's embrace promised nothing could hurt him. And after all it was all Loki needed. He was so exhausted.

"Hush now," Thor whispered, tucking Loki's head gently under his chin.

"You know I'm not a child, right?" Loki yawned, snuggling closer to his brother until he was curling into a surprisingly tiny ball.

"Yet you keep acting like one," Thor didn't sound angry or pissed. He sounded... peaceful.

Loki opened his mouth, but decided it wasn't worth an argument, so he closed it and kept eyes his eyes shut, letting the rhythm of his brother's heartbeat lull him into dreamless sleep.

__________

He woke the next morning feeling, for the first time in what felt like forever, fully rested. Thor's hands were still around him, keeping him safe. It felt exactly like they were those boys again.

Or maybe they still are.

~~~

V.

Loki hated it when someone touched his hair. It was... a burning-with-passion kind of strong hatred that could send him on a murdering spree if someone were to even think about touching it, because his hair was.... his hair, they were precious. You could kill Loki, but you couldn't mess with Loki's hair. That was.... the unspoken rule, sort of.

But really, he wasn't afraid people were going to cut it off, if he let them get near his curls. He was, in fact, afraid of himself going.... soft. Melting. Losing whatever reputation he built because deep down, locked away in his deepest, darkest secret, Loki longed for his hair to be played with. Which was just unacceptable, in his opinion. He wasn't a cat or a dog. He was a God. A being simple above everybody else and the thought of himself melting into some low life's touch. That was just.... not something he could wrap his head around. So it was best he kept his guard high, resisted the desire to have someone comb their fingers through his locks, and pretended he was doing just fine.

Someone's hand came rifling through his hair so unexpectedly Loki stopped on his tracks, dropped the glass of water he was holding and went utterly still. His mind going blank because someone was actually playing with his hair.

The hand left his hair a moment later, though his brain still couldn't quite get itself back to function and all Loki could really think was, what the fuck was that, what just happened????? (With a lot of question marks)

"When was the last time you washed your hair?" Thor sounded.... concerned. His hand no longer in Loki's hair, but it was still hovering too close for Loki's liking.

"Long ago. Mind your own business," Loki snapped. Thor didn't flinch.

He was about to walk away when Thor's hand caught his arm. "Seriously, it's.... greasy,"

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Loki tried yanking his limb free, but of course, Thor's hold was unyielding.

"It means it's greasy," Thor sounded about done, but so was Loki because how dared Thor. How dared —

Loki yelped when Thor began dragging him across the room. "What is wrong with you? Let me go, you oaf! The hell are you doin — hey!"

Thor shoved him into the bathroom. His standing there with his broad shoulders at the doorway completely blocked Loki's escape route. "Wash it." Thor commanded. He didn't budge when Loki tried pushing him away.

"Wash what? What are you —"

"Your hair, Loki."

"What?"

"I'll guard the door. You'll only come out after you washed your damn hair."

Loki blinked once, twice, then he bursted out laughing. It soon died down because Thor's face remained stern. "You can't be serious,"

"I am actually very serious right now." Thor crossed his arms over his chest, and even though the look on Loki's face was actually kinda hilarious, Thor kept on the poker face. His expression was of determination. His mind was made up.

Loki gasped. He looked... lost. It wasn't that he was too lazy to wash his own hair. He just... didn't have the motivation to. Hadn't been in the mood to take care of himself in quite a while now. Especially after all that happened in his life of late, it kind of... drained away his energy (his will to live, if he were to be honest) making the only thing he wanted to do was lock himself in his room. It must have shown on his face, at least a little, because Thor sighed and then Thor's face softened, something shifted behind his mismatched eyes.

Thor entered the bathroom and closed the door, and Loki looked, somewhat, like a trapped mice. "What are you doing?" But Thor wouldn't answer, he started running a bath and pouring down the generous amount of whatever-was-in-the-bottle-on-the-tub's-edge until there were bubbles all over the surface.

"Undress and get in," he turned to Loki, who had about a second or two to look panic, but then Thor turned his back toward him so he was facing the wall. "I won't look. Just undress and get in the damn tub for me... please," Thor sighed again.

There was a moment of hesitation before Thor heard Loki taking off his shirt and so on, and when he was sure his brother was already in the tub, covered in bubbles, he turned around. "I still don't know what you're doing," Loki said. "I am perfectly capable of bathing myself—"

"Shut up."

Loki shut up. He sat still in the tub when Thor started the delicate process of washing his hair. He began with pouring the water from the shower above the tub into his hair, and the way Loki held very still didn't go unnoticed by Thor. He just decided not to mention it. After his brother's hair was dampened enough Thor poured a generous amount of shampoo into the palm of his hand before running it through Loki's hair, massaging his scalp. 

Loki leaned into the touch like a cat rubbing itself against its owner and Thor doubted he was even aware of doing that. He could see tension leave Loki's shoulders, his body began to relax and his eyes were drifting close. Thor continued in silence, carefully and gently unknotting the knot in his hair as he scooped water up and into the hair to make it easier. Loki didn't seem to protest, or to be annoyed. Just leaned back with his eyes closed and a soft moan unconsciously escaping his lips.

This felt good. This was comforting. And Loki could protest, could fight back and use his magic to physically throw Thor away, but he didn't really want to. He had always liked his hair played with, although he would rather die than admitting it aloud, and this... this felt like everything he wanted but couldn't — wouldn't — ask. He never wanted Thor's hand to go away.

"I'm not a child, Thor." Loki said, but his voice sounded like he was starting to drift off.

"Yet you keep acting like one," Thor replied. He sounded.... happy. His voice was warm and if Loki were to open his eyes right now, he'd see a genuine smile display across Thor's face, the one Thor hadn't smiled in so long.

Loki opened his mouth, but decided it wasn't worth an argument, so he closed it and let Thor wash his hair.

__________

"What happened to the baby brother?" Tony sounded surprised... shocked, even. He wouldn't quite stop staring at Loki from across the room. Of course, Loki saw him, he just... ignored him and continued reading in his favorite loveseat, unbothered.

"Nothing, he just had his hair washed," Thor said dismissively, shoving an apple into his mouth and taking a huge bite.

"He washed his hair?" Tony sounded... more shocked. But it was probably the only explanation as to why his hair didn't look greasy anymore. It looked soft and fluffy and... good.

"I washed his hair," Thor said with pride.

"You washed Loki's hair?" That was Natasha. She sounded as shocked as Tony was.

"Turned out I could be... pretty persuasive," Thor smirked. He was so damn proud of himself for this he would probably bring it up every chance he got.

"Can I.... you know,"

"Don't. Don't even think about it. Or else you'll lose your hand." There was warning in Thor's voice, like Tony had just asked him if he could pet that hungry lion he saw at a zoo.

"He doesn't like anyone touching his hair," Natasha enlightened Tony, like it wasn't already obvious, even though Loki did, in fact, like someone touching his hair, he would probably just bite their hand off if it meant he wouldn't, against his own will, turn into a house cat at the attention.

"But Point Break —"

"Don't take it personally, Stark." Thor chuckled. "No one touches my brother's hair but me."

~~~

And one (bad) habit of Thor in which Loki found unbearable.

Loki hated affection as much as he loved it.

Because he had reputation, reasons why he didn't allow anybody to touch his hair even if he craved it. There were boundaries, things he rather nobody saw. Thor seemed to not understand.

It was a close call when Loki almost died in one mission with the team, the one Thor happened to have to be dragged somewhere else when the ambush happened, leaving Loki there alone.

But in the end Loki escaped in one piece, if only with a few scratches. But he would be fine. He would be fine and, before arrived back at the Avengers compound, he made sure Thor knew beforehand he did not get hurt.

The first second Loki was home Thor reacted as if he died all the same.

"Brother!" Two arms wrapped around him in an extremely tight hug, in front of the rest. In front of Steve, Tony, everyone.

"Get off me!" Loki squirmed. He wouldn't stop squirming in Thor's embrace until Thor had to reluctantly let go. Thor looked... hurt, but after all he was just relieved Loki was okay.

"Norns, Loki, you scared me. Are you —"

"I'm fine. I told you I'm fine," Loki took a few steps away, in case Thor decided to attack with a hug again. He couldn't have that... not when everybody was here.

__________

Loki loved affection as much as he hated it.

Because being showered with such a thing in public spooked him in a way he couldn't explain how. It made his stomach roll uneasily; there were people around. They could see that Loki wasn't a cold blooded monster who they should be afraid of. And if they stopped being afraid of him, he'd lose all their respect. He had been through that time in his life where, when he was younger — a naive Prince of Asgard — people always bullied him because he wasn't physically strong. So now he needed them to be scared. So he had their respect. So they wouldn't pick on him.

No one would be scared of him, if Thor kept treating him like what he was; a baby brother. Thor always treated him like a baby brother without a care in the world. He seemed to not care if people could see them, could see Loki being, the thought terrified him, hugged like a little child.

Which explained why it resulted in a knife to Thor's rip every time Thor showed him deep, profound sentiment in public. That soft oaf, Loki would huff in annoyance. Of course, Thor didn't care that Loki had a reputation he couldn't risk jeopardizing it. It was the one thing Loki couldn't stand about him.

"Don't touch me," he hissed during a breakfast when Thor carelessly slung an arms around Loki's shoulder. Everybody else was in the room with them.

"Sorry," Thor murmured, a little bit hurt but Loki couldn't afford to care right now. And if he felt bad, he pushed that feeling down with the bite of pancake he shoved down his throat.

__________

They were watching a horror movie. Steve and Bucky keeping the brothers company, and Thor just had to, out of habit, start pulling Loki close after one jump scare scene. Loki hissed like a wild cat. A knife might have been involved, if Thor didn't pull away fast enough.

After that they sat on the opposite ends of the couch until, after the end credit rolled, Steve and Bucky excused themselves for the night while Thor and Loki stayed for another film.

It was just them alone now. As the second movie continued playing on the screen, Loki sat where he previously seated; ridiculously far away from his brother. But they were alone now so it wouldn't be a problem, if they cuddled now.

But the thing was, Thor also stayed where he was; ridiculously away from Loki. And Loki waited, but Thor still hadn't moved.

And the longer he waited, the grumpier Loki got. Thor — the oaf — kept his eyes glued to the TV. Why aren't you hugging me now? What is wrong with you? Hello???

Loki huffed loudly on purpose, signaling Thor now was the time to give him the attention. But Thor was too focused on the damn film. And Loki was starting to get very pissed off.

A cork throwing directly at Thor's head finally got Thor's attention. "What the fu —"

"I'm here!" Loki cut him off, visibly irritated.

"Yes, I know. We've been watching movies on this couch for hours now. Care to tell me why you decided to throw that shit at me?"

"Because I'm here!"

"And?" Thor was confused. Thor had... the nerve to act confused, like it wasn't obvious. 

"And nobody's around anymore, you dumb oaf!"

Thor blinked. Loki was going to strangle him. "You were supposed to keep me comfortable, Thor. Comfortable."

"Wha — what the hell are you talking about?"

Loki rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe he was dealing with this. With Thor and Thor's literal one brain cell. "You can't be serious,"

"You are not making any sense —"

"Hug me!"

Thor was stunned. He looked like he thought he misheard that. Perhaps he did. No, he didn't. Loki was very loud and clear and what the hell. "You act like a damn cat every time I so much as make physical contact with you!"

"Well, there were other people." Loki spoke, like it was something he expected Thor to understand. Thor looked just as lost and Loki genuinely started to pity Thor's dumbness. "I can't be seen being soft, Thor. I have a reputation."

"What the hell?"

"But I do deserve all the love and attention and I want to be comfy right now,"

"What?"

"Scoot over here and hug me or I'll scoot over there and stab you."

Thor was still for a couple breaths, like he was trying to process what was going on. But then he said, "You're unbelievable," then he scooted over, wrapped his arms around Loki, and Loki melted into him like a spoiled house cat.

"Play with my hair, too." He said, already making himself comfy in Thor's embrace.

Thor blinked, but soon he began running fingers through Loki's hair, and when Loki purred he could've sworn his brother was, in fact, a cat.

"You really are unbelievable, you know that." Thor said, but he didn't stop. He didn't sound pissed either, not anymore.

Loki opened his mouth, but decided it wasn't worth an argument. So he closed it and let Thor hug him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to get to know me more, feel free to talk to me, about my writing or whatever, on my [Tumblr](http://bebx.tumblr.com/) where my inbox is open


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